Tuesday, March 9, 2010

One Mans Trash is Another Mans Treasure

Sometimes beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. A few weeks ago this bicycle was found in the trash. No wonder, two flat tires, bent up plastic basket, repainted a very pretty shade of robins egg blue, the original handle bars were missing and everything (not painted blue) was covered with a coating of rust. The people throwing this away must have thought that they were doing the exact right thing.

They weren't. I noticed this honey placed between two garbage cans on trash day. After some very momentary soul searching about digging into someone Else's trash, I decided to stop and throw it into the back of my fully loaded van. When I got home the realization struck me that my garage was also full to capacity. I put the bike in the only space that was available, on the ground outside of the garage. Putting it there seemed like a very responsible, rational decision at the time. The only thing (or so I thought) that I did not account for was the forecast for snow later that day. Originally the forecast was for "just a light dusting", it in fact turned into an over 30" snowfall. This of course resulted in the bike, being completely covered with snow. It quickly became a forgotten item. But then the snow melted and that is when the real trouble began.

My wife puts very few rules on me when it comes to this business, I am not allowed to leave major messes out where everyone else in the world can see them, I have to bath regularly and dress in a normal fashion and finally nothing with living creatures in it is allowed to be brought into the house. Non compliance with any of these rules is also known as assisted suicide. In this case, my wife who is usually very sympathetic to my obsession with junk, (I'm sorry antiques) will not tolerate having her yard look like the city dump.

The snow that covered the bike did provide some temporary relief from this rule, but once it melted the violation became immediately apparent. The question was very simple "what the heck is that piece of trash doing in our yard". I tried explaining that the bikes sitting outside was only temporary. I then tried telling about how great it was and that it was totally free. She really wasn't all that impressed with either of these explanations. She reiterated that I had promised not make a total mess of the yard. It was one of the few times in my life that I was truly sad to see the snow melt, because once it had melted, the bicycle that had previously been OK (because it couldn't be seen) now became a point of potential matrimonial distress.

I made several attempts to make the bike less conspicuous by moving it behind the garage so it couldn't be seen. She said "nice try" and followed that with an emphatic "NO". I then tried to make it look like a yard decoration by putting birdseed into the basket and calling it a feeder. Although the feeder idea was original it still was not convincing enough to allow it to stay. At this point, it was determined that the best possible solution was to get rid of it immediately. This may be the reason that the original owner put it out to the curb for trash collection . I however, could not make myself put it into the curb. I just cannot make myself throw out something with any value whatsoever, so off to the local junk auction the bicycle went.

WOW!! WHAT A SURPRISE!! The bicycle brought $160.00. I was really hoping for about $10.00, but what the heck I'm not going to complain. This unexpected cash resulted in my being forgiven for the short term mess in the yard. I am still not allowed to make the yard look like we are some type of #%!%^&* hillbillies and I have been told not to let it happen again.

But we both know that it will . Oh yeah CASH IT, CASH IT , CASH IT!

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